Outings with mom

Rustin has been working a lot lately, which I'm not complaining about because at least he still has a job.  This has left me to choose between taking the kids to do fun things by myself, or staying home.  My first desire is always to go do something fun, but quickly the hesitation begins and I have to talk myself into going it alone.  Besides the fact that I just love to have Rustin around, taking 4 kids on outings is not always easy, but the more I do it, the easier it gets.  So, here are some of the things we have done without Rustin lately.  

Spent an afternoon at the climbing gym  after lunch at the park.  I found that it's not entirely impossible to spot 3 monkey kids at once, while listening for a fourth to cry.  I can honestly say I had fun, even though I didn't get to climb and I felt like a bit of a spectacle among the regular grunge crowd at the gym.

Took the kids for breakfast, boating, and lunch at Deer Creek with my parents.  Of course I had mom and dad's help for this one, but I had to get us organized and in the car by myself (which is often half the battle).  I got to ski, the kids did the tube (couldn't convince Logan to try to ski), Logan fished his heart out with no luck, I did a fair amount of relaxing in a chair in the sun thanks to Evan needing to nurse.  I didn't stress out!!  Amelia gave me flashbacks of my childhood as she danced and danced in the wind that blew quite hard in the afternoon.  She was in her own little world and loved it.  Logan and Malan hunted and caught nearly a hundred grasshoppers.  My parents both skied while Malan spotted and I watched from the beach.  My dad can still carve out some nice  turns at almost 70.  

We went to the Clearfield pool a couple of weeks ago for my niece Maren's birthday party.  We've enjoyed various park outings including one to the Liberty Park water area.  For some reason the water activities make me the most nervous to do on my own with the kids, so even though I had help from Brigita for both of these mentioned here, I'm proud of myself for not just staying home thinking it would be too hard to keep track of them all.

My parents and I took my kids plus my nephew Isaac to the Manti pageant and then camping after the show.  We had a great time, and I only had one moment of panic that one of the kids was lost in the sea of people.  

This past weekend I took the kids on our Johnson family camp-out in Hobble Creek Canyon.  Rustin came for the second night, but I just had the kids for the first night.  We had help from my family of course, but ultimately I had to be responsible for the safety and happiness of my four kids.  And we did it!  We had a great and even relaxing time.  Then it just got better when Rustin joined us. 

I know for some of you it may seem like no big deal to haul your kids around the world without other adult help, but for me (a  confessed coward about some things, and recently inaugurated mother of 4) it is a big deal that I am "facing my fears," as Logan and Malan like to say, and getting out to enjoy life even when the love of my life can't be with us.

Evan David

OK, so I can't in good conscience write a post about Face Book and not follow up with something about our most important latest news.  We had a baby!  A healthy, beautiful baby boy whom we named Evan David.  He weighed 6 lbs. 10 oz. and measured 20 1/4 in.  Labor was quick (5 hours from start to finish) and as pain-free as you can get without any pain medication.  It's sort of unforgivable that he is almost 3 months old now and I am just getting around to making any kind of announcement, but it may be more unforgivable that I don't even have a recent picture to share.  I'll see what I can dig up. . .  So the photos are in chronological order;  hospital, 1 month, then 2 1/2 months.  Note to self. . . take pictures of Evan tomorrow!  Ironically, he is sleeping in all the photos, yet he doesn't do a whole lot of that anymore (at least not during the day).  He sleeps pretty well at night (once he falls asleep), but his daytime routine includes some fussing, feeding, diaper changing, charming us with his smiles, and cringing at the sound of his sisters approaching.  They are just a bit too "motherly" or should I say "smotherly".

Face Book

Aaahh!  I finally gave in and opened a Face Book account (the photo is my current profile picture)! One of my friends (who is actually my friend and not just an acquaintance that calls me his "friend" on Face Book) aptly described the medium as a "time vacuum".  Holy cow, I can't believe how much time one can waste on that site.  It has been a blessing and a curse in the last few days.  Curse, because I have wasted too much time on it (mostly reading other people's stuff and looking for people I have lost touch with).  I haven't written much to anyone or about me, and I haven't even requested "friendship" with most of the people I looked up (I guess I just wanted to know that they still existed).  But it has also been a blessing because I found some old friends from my mission and other eras of my life that I have felt sadness and even guilt for not keeping in touch with.  There are so many people in my life who have influenced me for good, maybe this (Face Book) will be a way to not lose them again.

Face Book is also to thank for this post.  I have for so long felt like I didn't have the time to post to my blog, but after spending hours on Face Book I thought, "if I can spend the time on that, surely I can eek out a post to my blog every now and then."  I have been especially anxious to post something (anything) so that my sort-of-sad post about Alice is not the first thing people see when they visit my blog in hopes that there will be something new to see.  My apologies to all who have faithfully checked in at Peaks Valleys, and Raisins only to be disappointed to find that there was never anything new to see.  I hope you don't tire quickly of the wallpaper, colors, etc. because the chances of those changing soon are very slim.

Alice

I know it has been forever since I posted anything, and this one is going to be short, but something is better than nothing right?  

Today I spent a minute checking out a friend's blog and saw a link to a blog in memory of their angel baby.  I clicked on it and allowed myself a few minutes of remembering our Alice and the feelings surrounding her birth.  I left a comment on the blog sharing some of my feelings, so I thought I would just share those quickly here.

"It has been a month or so since I have had a good cry for my own angel baby Alice who went back to our Heavenly Father in December of 2006. It felt good to cry tears of sorrow and joy in her memory at the same time as I read the poems and listened to the music on your bog. One of my greatest fears in losing Alice was that I would forget about her and forget the feeling of loss that I felt at her death. Sharing moments like this with other families who have felt loss too, help to make it impossible for me to forget. So, thank you. I pray for you, and for all who have lost children, that we may feel those angel babies present in our homes and be worthy of a joyous reunion with them in the eternities".

Thanks for indulging me with a personal moment. I have to say that Alice's memory makes every kick and squirm of the baby inside me even more precious and even sacred to me.